Eternal Love
by All-Too-Gay19
Summary: "I still have time with her, it may not be much and she may not remember me but still, having her around makes me feel- complete" Angst-y oneshot. Alex makes daily visits to Casey in her nursing home- even though she knows Casey doesn't know her..


AN: Based off a visit to my aunts nursing home recently. I met some people there and the events of the day inspired this short- angst-y fic that shines through the true love and dedication of one person to another.

xx

I walk into the nursing home, my heart racing as it does with every visit I make here. I walk down the sky blue painted hall and I bite my lip as I reach my destination.

I steady myself outside room 408, her now permanent home, we thought she'd be let home- no. I will away the tears threatening to fall and knock gently

"Casey?" I call as I walk into the almost clinical room.

I step inside, the bunch of Lilly's in hand- her favourite- she may not remember that but I'll be damned if I forget it.

"Y-Yes?" She's clearly no better than yesterday when I visited, she still doesn't remember me

"I'm here to visit you. I'd hate for you to be lonely" I plaster on a fake smile as my heart cracks that little bit more and she smiles as I hand her the flowers

"They're so pretty" she inhales the scent of the flowers and leaves them on her side table "like the ones I grow in the garden, it's just out there you know, did you see them coming in the door?"

No, but I saw them when I left our house to come and visit- of course I'm not going to say that

"Yeah, I did. You keep them beautifully Casey" I sit on the side of the bed and she scowls looking at me

"I recognise you"

My heart leaps in my chest, maybe she actually remembers me!

"Did we drink together in Flanagan's?" She asks and my heart sinks as I lie to my wife, again

"Yeah, we did. We used to have a great time together" I, in fact, have no clue if Flanagan's is even a bar, I'm just assuming.

"Did I tell you they brought us to the beach yesterday?"

It's December, I doubt they did.

"No? Wow! Did you have fun?" I ask feigning excitement and she nods

"They let my wife come too" I'm sitting right here, and she doesn't recognise me

"They did? What's her name?" I ask, praying she says my name and not another, I can just about handle this, if she says another name I'll lose it

She smiles, a beaming smile "Alex, it's pretty isn't it? She's pretty too.. I never see her though"

She never sees me? Oh God! This is horrible, worse than I expected! I mean how long has she think I've abandoned her for?

"I miss her" she admits and I nod, just barely holding it together

"I bet she misses you too Casey"

I do. God, I miss you so much.

"Mass starts soon, would you like to come with me?" She asks and I check my watch, she's right, Mass does start soon.

I'm jealous. I'm jealous that my wife remembers Mass times but not me. How sad does that make me?

Every Sunday for 30 years we went to Mass together- despite me growing up with no religious beliefs. I did it for her. The nurse arrives in with a wheelchair as she's done the last couple of Sundays "Are we going to Mass again today Casey?" She asks and Casey smiles

"Of course we are, I can't miss my Mass"

Sadie, the nurse, smiles sadly at me, knowing how hard this is for me

"Your visitor is here again" Sadie directs her statement to Casey but I know she said it for my benefit

Casey smiles and nods "She is and she brought me lilly's like the ones from the garden"

"Oh right" Sadie nods "isn't it good of her to call so you aren't lonely?"

I'm nearly crying. I hate this.

"Yeah.. Can we go, Mass starts now"

Sadie let's me wheel my wife down to the small chapel and as we arrive she slips the prayer book from her pocket

"That's beautiful" I say as if I haven't seen it before and she runs her thumb over the faded letters on the front

"My wife gave it to me.. I've had it for as long as I can remember"

The irony of that - 'as long as I can remember'..

The bells chime, Mass starting and she bows her head, saying her own silent prayers.

I wish everything was back to normal. I wish I had my wife back, I wish she was home with me.. even remembered me.

Mass is over quickly and when it is Casey looks back to me "Can we go home now then?"

I nod and bite the inside of my cheek- please don't cry Alex, please just keep it together

"Of course we can go home Casey, where else would we go?"

"Out for dinner. Me and my wife used to go..her names Alex. Are we going home?"

I nod and stroke her hair "Yeah, we are"

I wheel her down the hall to room 408 again and Sadie helps her back into bed

"Casey, I have to go" I tell her, barely stopping my tears "but I'll be back tomorrow again, okay?"

"Okay" she smiles and before I go I take her hand

"Would you mind if I kissed your cheek Casey? I wouldn't want you to feel.. like you're cheating on your wife"

"You're my friend" she offers me her cheek and I press my lips against them, cherishing the small intimate contact

"Bye Casey"

"Goodbye" she waves as I walk out the door and the second I'm outside of the room I let myself cry. I don't think I'll ever get used to this or it'll ever get easier..

I take a deep breath and look out the door of the nursing home and out to the quiet rural road, the only time she'll get out of them gates and onto that road will be on the worst day of my life, when she's carried out of here in a wooden box.

I still have time with her, it may not be much and she may not remember me but still, having her around makes me feel- complete. I walk out and I can't help but feel torn apart, like half of me is gone- she always was my other half..


End file.
